Monday, April 28, 2008
Fires
I feel the urge to write something but I don't know what. There's been a lot going on lately inside my fragile little mind, but I don't know where to start. I long for things that I can't have, that should be in my power to obtain, yet I don't know how to go about getting it. I've tried several ways and they all seem to end up the same way. Nothing gained. Guess the upside is I haven't lost anything so I should take that into consideration. If I had the stamina and/or willpower to change some things that might be a good place to start, but I don't. I lack any ambition to do anything lately. The good moments I've had have been great, but it never quite feels the way I think it should. I've come to a point in my life where I want more. More from career (if you can call it that), more from myself, and more from life, yet I don't know where to turn to get there. I don't know which path to take, which one will lead to salvation (so to speak), or which one will lead me to ruin. All I feel I can do is sit and watch. I need something to kick me in my ass, to get my fires started.
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2 comments:
Same dilemma I'd faced. Career sucks, yeah, but it's a direction and an opportunity. Life in general... well thats different, spending the vast majority of weekends and time off looking for a particular piece of the puzzle and never finding it. Doesn't exactly feel fulfilling as entertaining as it always is.
Leaves few options. Quit looking and be alright without it all... which at least for me, isn't an option. or continue the trend and learn to enjoy the experiences had whilst looking.
There are plenty of fillers, though we've still got to wait til the 17th for one, but everything usually ends up as a hobby. and as always... they are costly.
Life is general. everyone wants the same things... sometimes. the only way to get there, is stepping on a few people.
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