Nothing

Lost. Lost in thought, wandering in my own mind, thinking about nothing, about everything. Unable to focus, unable to pick a direction and go. Lost, Wandering, Aimless. Days seem to come and go. No end in sight. One ends, another begins over and over. Restless, can't seem to find my place, my niche so to speak. I wonder if I was on the outside would I like this shell of the person I've become? Would I? I don't know, maybe. Am I really who I say am? Am I just an act to fool the masses? Apathy seems to engulf me. It always has a way of settling in. Making itself feel at home. It has become such a normal feeling I feel like I welcome it anymore. When it does go away I feel lost without. I think too much about what could be, would could be done, great things yet to happen. Soon though my old friend comes back and we settle back into this little slump. This is where its comfortable, where things are known. Always wondering when the next moment of clarity will come, then as soon as it does, wishing it would have stayed away. Lost in my own mind, wondering about things that mean nothing, wondering about nothingness and what that would be like. The thoughts that come are random, always benign, and mostly useless. They serve no purpose, no greater good. They are nothing which is exacly how I feel.