A discussion took place last night about friendship. It got me to thinking about somethings. How does one define who is a friend and who is merely an acquaintance? At one point I think there was a much clearer line that could be drawn for the two. Now it seems they seem to blend seamlessly into one another. I'm at a point in my life where I don't want drama, or bullshit. I just want the people I consider my friends to be open and honest with me. Those that I know beyond a doubt are my friends this is not for you. This is for a select few people.
Do you consider me your friend? If so, why? The only time we talk or associate is if I make the contact first. I've tried putting myself out there, to be more open, to discard my fears and grow as a person. I feel our friendship is one sided. I am the one putting forth the effort, I am the one who is trying. If you truly do consider me a friend, why am I always starting every conversation? Why is it just me that asks the questions? Are you just pretending to be my friend to spare my feelings? If so, I'd much rather hear that I am a worthless piece of shit than spending the time, energy, and emotions to make a friendship work that is false. I do not want to be lead on. I do not want to hear lies so you can save face. If I offend you tell me. If I hurt you, tell me. If by me considering you a friend destroys some part of your soul then at least have the common fucking courtesy to tell me you'd rather not talk to me. I will not waste any more of my time on false-friends.
I'm done with this game. Those of you that are my true friends you have nothing to fear. I love you with all my heart, and everyday I'm grateful that I have you. But to those of you who are just in it for themselves, or just because they don't want to hurt a feeling or two, I say this: Become an adult, say what is on your mind, and don't spare anyones feelings if you don't feel like you want to associate with someone. While the pain of your rejection would hurt now, in the long run the pain that you would cause by being deceitful, is nothing in comparison. If you do want a friend out of this, make an effort, show some interest, at least make a small attempt and being a real friend. Even a random text just asking how the day is going is at least something. It at least lets me know that I am your friend, and that I am least in someway important in your life and that you thought about me at least for a moment.
All this really boils down to is this. Until I get some sign from those who I'm considering false friends, I will not initiate contact. I will not be the one to solely invest the time and energy into making a friendship. I am done pretending and the gauntlets are off.
4 comments:
Dude, did I totally miss some part of the conversation last night? Or is this just building on something that was said, but not said quite this clearly? Cause after reading this I'd swear that I missed a step somewhere. But I know that I was there for the whole thing.
Thanks for the party! It was small, but I had fun. Remember Mike saying, "Fuck all your friends"? Not really, I didn't really invite anyone. :)
Anyway, thanks for that. For the next little while I fear that I may be restricted to, like, a movie or something so don't be upset if I can't do anything that will take more than a few hours. If last night was any indication I'll be getting TONS of work calls from here on out and won't be able to do much socially. I also think that my sleep schedule is going to be so jacked that I'll be exhausted all the time. We'll see what happens though.
All right, I've said my bit. I'll talk to you later.
My thoughts exactly. I considered writting a blog on it, but I think you pretty much said it all already. Not sure how stephy missed that part of the conversation. I remember it lol.
so i guess that means all of you guys hate me now huh.
Not you my viking friend. How could I ever be mad at The Beard?
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