Ahhh....

Ahhh.... This time off has been just what I needed. I feel so much better about life. I think I may actually be glad to be a human for a change. Its an odd feeling, but it is there. I've been occupying my time with some Hitman. I have to say its quite addicting. The past two nights I've been up till 5am playing it. Stupid crack game. Oh well, at least it keeps me from sitting on the couch and doing nothing but watching TV. Ok, I've been staring at the screen for far too long today. My eyes need a rest. Perhaps I'll go read now.

A time of me

Finally got some time to just sit back and relax this weekend. It was nice. I actually feel refreshed. While I didn't sit at the house and become a hermit like I thought I would I still feel recharged. No big parties, no massive hangover, no doing something just to be social, just going to a movie, playing some video games and getting food. It was quite nice and just what the body and mind needed.

The coming week will be another whirlwind ride though with the holiday coming. But that's ok. I'm off the week after too, so I will have a chance to recoup again. I badly needed this time off from work. I was feeling burned out. This time away will give me a chance to just be me for a while and not worry about anything.

Is it time to relax yet?

The weekend is fast approaching and again I have so much going on it won't feel like I ever had any time off. It has been this way for a couple of months now. Just GO! GO! GO! all the time. I'm tired. I think I need a break from my so called "social life". I think next weekend I will take it for myself. Not plan anything, and just relax for a day or two. I need it. Just to catch up on having some me time which I've severely lacked in having in the past little while. I do have two weeks off from work coming up and I'm hoping that will help with the much needed me time. I may go down and visit my mom while I'm off, just to get away for a couple of days. Get away from the crowds, and all the people. While it is a nasty drive to go down there I do enjoy getting away. Its nice to be a different place where it feels like home. Where the speed of life is much slower. Someday when I'm rich I'll have myself a nice piece of land in the mountains that I can go and retreat to and disappear for weeks on end just to get away from everything.

I'm one of those people

I've officially crossed over. I've succumb to the masses and bought a copy of Guitar Hero. I picked it up last night and stayed up way to lay playing it and got up just to play it some more. Fucking game's addicting as hell. Should provide much drunken entertainment though this weekend as we all laugh at the idiot who's trying to pull of some mad drunken riffs. Here's to some Jager, some Jack and mad drunken Wii.

Winds of change

The winds of change may be blowing in my direction. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I think it would be a very good thing if it did happen. I think perhaps it would get me out of my current delirium I'm in. While it would still be the same thing in many aspects it would be different enough to satisfy my needs for something new. Knowing my luck though it will get denied somewhere in the chain, but at least its giving me something to look forward to. The anticipation of not knowing is going to kill me while I wait to find out, but that is part of the mystery and excitement.

I loathe them

Comcast is at it again. What you ask? Trying to kill me of course. If its not one thing its another. This time they decided it would be a good idea to block google. Why? I have no fucking idea. But it was really annoying. Called their dumbass tech support and got no help which is what I expected. I feel its my right and my privilege to call and bitch whenever they fuck shit up. I need to let them know by calling them 80 times a month complaining about how much I loathe their service. It never does any good but add to my stress level, but it is a necessary evil. In closing, if you have comcast call them every time something doesn't work right. Bug the hell out of them. Call them 10 times a day if you have to, to get your point across. Don't let them control you just because of lack of options. Take back the internet!

A civic responsibility

That time of year is almost upon us. I'm not near as informed as I should be and I don't really care. Even though I know it really means nothing, it doesn't matter, I feel its something we all must do. Too many people in my age bracket feel it is a waste of time and don't even bother. You know what I have to say to that? Fuck you for bitching about the way things work. If you don't stand up and at least try, you have no right to bitch about anything that our government does. I don't want to hear how much you hate this or that. If you didn't get out to vote then shut your fucking pie hole. While I know my vote doesn't mean shit and never will, it does give me the right to bitch about what is going on. With that being said, its time to dust of my voter registration card and try to assimilate as much knowledge as humanly possible in the next 2 weeks so I at least have a vague idea of what the fuck is going on.

It's official

I did it. I bought myself a shiny new car. Its super sweet. The car I originally wanted was a 2002 Altima 3.5 SE. I went and drove it and I hated the clutch. It was probably the worst clutch I've ever used. The friction point was so small it was damn near impossible to find and actually shift smoothly and it was so stiff I thought my leg was going to fall off after about 20 minutes. Fuck that noise in rush hour. After that I bagged the idea of getting that one and decided I'd go out a dealership in Riverdale and see what they had. As I was driving back from Orem I passed Stockton to Malone and decided.... "Wtf?... I may as well drop in and see what they have, I have nothing better to do." So I looked around at their selection and found my Precious. Its a black 2002 Honda Accord LX. It has decent mileage and is in great shape. Once the weather clears up a bit I'll get a few pics together and put them up and show off my Precious.

Perhaps a new ride?

I'm at work way to early for my own tastes. But there is a reason. If all goes well I will leave early today and buy myself a new car. Well.... not a new car but one that isn't 10 years old. It all depends on if I get a loan and the car is not a complete pile of shit when I go and test drive it later today. Odds are knowing my luck though that the bank will deny my loan application. Which all in all wouldn't be a terrible thing. Really it would save me a ton of money and I'd just continue to put more and more miles on the Altima of death. Which is ok really, it still runs really good, but is leaking a bit of oil now. I know its only a matter of time though before she blows up completely so I would like to find a replacement long before that happens so I can at least get a few bucks for the car rather than just junking it. Hopefully I'll know more by this afternoon. Time to try and wake my ass up and get back to work.

Nightmare Before Christmas

The Nightmare Before Christmas 3D is play this Friday at Jordan Commons. I'm planning on going to the 8:20 show so if anyone is interested hit me up and we shall go. It will be glorious. If you don't go, I shall call you a loser and kick you in the shins.

Being smote by the Gaming gods.

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Survey of Doom!!!

1. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I'm way too smart to subject myself to that again.

2. What color are your eyes?
Mostly white.

3. What does your last text say?
where you at hommie? Not that its any of your business?

4. Do you smoke cigarettes?
Only when I breathe in.

5. What is one thing you question?
Why the fuck I decided to start doing this.

6. Do you lead people on?
that would involve having a flock which I am currently lacking.

7. Are you married?
Fuck that noise. refer to question 1

8. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
I have but after I while I stopped meaning it. Does that still count?

9. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Does my hand count?

10. Is there anyone that doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
Now how the hell would I know that?

11. Do you miss someone?
I do but I don't think I want to tell you who it is.

12. Do you think they miss you too?
Probably hard for them to do so as all there is blackness.

13. Will you ever speak to them again?
Again we speak of the blackness so no.

14. How many letters in their name?
What the fuck kind of question is this? Are you trying to trick me?

15. When is the last time you laughed?
When I saw some dude on break.com break his leg most likely.

17. Did any of your friends go out with your ex?
Nope, but my cousin did fuck one of my exes once.

18. What are you wearing right now?
If I told you that you'd have to picture me nekkid.

19. Are you mad at anyone right now?
Nope, no point in being mad, just ruins my day.

20. How is your hair?
what? how is my hair? Did I just get asked that? What the hell does that even mean?

22. Are you taken for granted?
Only when I get paid.

24. Did you stay friends with your exes?
I have a 66% success ratio in this department. Would be 100% but that would be a bit tricky.

25. Where do you keep your money?
What is this money you speak of?

26. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life?
Define naughty. I'm done some really dumb things in my day so you need to be a bit more specific here.

27. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Well that all depends on if I need to get laid or not.

28. What are your initials?
LK

29. Who/What made you angry today?
refer to question 19. I'm far too lazy to come up with another snappy comeback.

30. Baseball or Football?
They both get paid way too much but at least football is entertaining to watch.

31. Ever gone skinny dipping?
No one needs to see that, not even the fish.

32. Do you love anyone?
IIIIIIIIIIIII don't care about anyone else but meeeee. IIIII, don't care about anyone... or anything... but MEEEEEE!!!!!!! God damn I love me!

33. What are you afraid of?
Spiders, but if any of you fuckers decide its a good idea to play a joke I swear to god I'll kill you in your sleep.

34. What's one thing you've learned this year?
The hottest asian woman I've ever seen in my life live in Australia

35. Do you find yourself loved?
Only when my hand is in the mood.

36. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
Does running nekkid to your room when you hear keys in the front door count?

38. Paramore or Nickelback?
Parawho?

39. What's something that really bugs you?
The stupid dumb ass cocksucker mother fucker that decided it was a good idea to put a god damn ricer fin on his fucking suburban.

40. If you could say one thing to a certain person what would you say?
I'd like to say many things to many people so if I knew who you were talking about I could could actually make a smart ass answer.

The journey to End World.

After more than a year my journey is complete. My quest to the Dark Tower is over. I feel at peace with the world. I feel as if I've accomplished a great task. I feel fulfilled. I was there through the pain, the sorrow, the despair, the joy and the revelation. For a brief time I was Roland Deschain of Gilead, son of Steven, the line of Eld, the ka-tet of nineteen and ninety-nine. His quest to find the tower was my own.

Experiencing this epic tale was memorizing. Words truly can't describe it. There have been few tales that have been this captivating to me. That have truly made me part of the story and to actually feel every emotion.

I am sad that it has come to an end. For a long time I had my quest to keep me company, to go to when I needed an escape from the world. I will miss my friends, my ka mates if you kennit. But ka is a wheel and I know I will once again lust for the path to the tower and I will join my tet again.

Thankee sai. Long days and pleasant nights.

A Moral Dilemma

So here's the problem I'm faced with. A while back I posted why EA Games in the Devil. Here is the rant I posted and to which started the ban of EA games. So up to this point it has not been too much of a problem. I have been able to stick to my guns. I have not played, bought, rented, etc., any EA title since the news of their spyware first circulated. I have stayed strong. I have not coveted their games, I have not longed to feel the joy they would bring to my life. I have moved on, grown and become a better person because of it.

However, Hellgate: London is being released later this month and I have been waiting for it for quite some time. For probably close to a year I have wanted to play this game. When I first heard about it there was no publisher. Fine I thought, it is being developed by a studio that has not used EA so I thought I was safe. Turns out I thought wrong. Flagship Studios has decided it would be in their best interest to let EA distribute this game for them. Why they thought this would be a good idea I will never know. Why developers keep flocking to EA to produce their titles is beyond my comprehension. My fragile little mind can not handle it.

I know that EA had very little to do with the development of the game. However, the publisher still has a lot more say so than they should when it comes to what is in the final release of a game. They dictate what features "need" to be removed from a game, what the patch schedule will be, and how the consumer will ultimately end up being screwed out of their hard earned money.

Do I stick to my guns and refuse to play this game, or do I cave in? This is the dilemma I am faced with. My will is strong. I can hold out. I can refuse to play this game. I have enough to play to keep me occupied for quite some time and not bend my will to the evil that is EA. I do want to play it though, I will covet this title and wish I had my hands on it, engrossed in its story, battling the forces of hell as they try to take over earth. If a single game will ever cause my will and hatred of EA to be broken, it will be this one.

I will remain strong....

What if

I've lost my will to carry on. I no longer care about life's little trivialities. My apathy has reared its ugly head again. It has stormed over me like a tsunami. It stands by my side and holds my hand and I no longer care about anything. I don't want to get up to go to work. I don't want to play any of the 3 games I've started. I don't want to be social. I just want to lie down and sleep. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm too lazy to look for another job to try and fix my predicament. I'm too lazy to get out and try to find other things. I just don't care. No part of me cares at this moment. If I could slip away without being noticed I would, but I know that's not an option. Even still that would take effort and is something I am currently lacking. I know it will pass, it always does, but this case seems to be worse than usual. Maybe its just me not remembering how it feels, but I don't think so. I don't remember a time when I've been this bad about everything. Even writing this is making me think too much, but it is helping.

The world spins around me and I sit and watch. I see the little people going about their daily lives. I see the people that pretend to be happy and I wish I could be one of them. Maybe I will find that fake happiness one day. Maybe it will wash over me but I won't hold my breath. Nothing ever comes this way.

I sit here thinking of the what-ifs and makes my sink further into the hole. I've started thinking a lot about something in my past. A time when I thought I was happy. I don't know what started me thinking about it, but it seems to consume me. I can't get it out of my head. I know that if I would have stayed where I was at the time, and been herded down the path of society I would still be unhappy. Most likely would be worse off than I am now. I know this, yet I can't stop thinking about it. I wonder silently to myself what it would have been like, how things would have ended up and if I'd be the same person I am now.

Area 51

Going to Area 51 tonight. Planning on getting just stupid drunk on $3 kamikazes. Lord knows I need a few drinks to get rid of the stink of this week. Anyone who wants to come should go, it will be fun until we get kicked out, then it will be hilarious. Ok, back to the hell that is my job. Mmmmm...... sweet booze!

Stupid jobs

I've decided that I really dislike my job. The drama and the stress are getting to me. I feel like I'm drowning in it. I feel like I should put a bullet in my brain and just end the misery. If I had any ambition whatsoever I'd get off my ass and start looking for something new but I don't. Instead, I'll just sit here and look like I'm working when I'm not and counting the seconds until I leave.

It used to be such a nice neighborhood

This is what I got to deal with last night. This car wash is about 100-150 yards from my front door. This is the second time that my neighborhood has been in the news. The first time was a guy was running around flashing young girls, this time there are bombs. I so need to move.

Finally got a ride

Was finally able to go for a ride today. Man was it nice. Was a bit hot, but nothing beats hitting the open road on the bike. I was hoping with my time off this weekend that I'd get to for a couple of short day trips, but getting sick on Thursday put a damper on those plans. Today was the first day all weekend I felt up to riding. Granted I'm still not completely over it, still have the lingering cough and sinus congestion but that's easy enough to deal with when you don't feel like you're going to die. In my sickness to pass the time I've been playing a little Flight Sim 2004. Man I suck. I keep crashing into shit all over the place. My skills have gotten a bit better, but I still need a lot of work on how to actually land properly. Ok, time to start some laundry so I don't go to work nekkid tomorrow. Trust me, no one needs to see that... ever.

unghh

It's official, I'm sick. Would someone come put me out of my misery? Please?

09/21

Well.... I know what I'm doing on the 21st.

Back home

Fuck I hate airports. Everything about them sucks. Stupid people, very large crowds and waiting. I don't do well with waiting. It drives me crazy. So I get to the airport in Toronto and my flight is delayed as soon as I check in. Luckily the check-in guy took pity on me and put me on standby on the earlier flight. Somehow I managed to actually get a standby seat so I could make it to Chicago on-time so I could catch the connecting flight. However, as soon as I get their I find out that flight is also delayed. Again, I love Chicago. Have I mentioned this before, how much I love that city, how it always seems to get better each time I'm there? Luckily though the flight was only delayed by about a half hour so it wasn't too bad, gave me enough time to grab a little food. Both flights were uneventful which is a very good thing. So now I'm home, glad to be back and hopefully can get back into a normal rhythm. Ok, I'm off to find a quick snack then I think I must go to bed. So very sleepy.

Leaving Canada

I'm all packed and ready to go. I have to say I'm looking forward to being home. Its always good to get away from home and routine to make you miss your normal resemblance of a life. While I've had fun here, it gets old doing everything alone. Most likely the coming weekend will be a whirlwind catching with all the things I left dangling, and catching up with family and friends. Now all I have left in front of me is dealing with the airlines which I know is going to leave me stranded. Maybe I'll get lucky and actually make it to my connecting flight, but I'm not counting on it. Ok, I'm off to get the last few things ready.

Flying Penguin

I've moved forward with my plan. I have bought a domain name and paid for web hosting to try and sell my prints. The website itself is still under development. Hopefully it will be completed in the next couple of weeks. If things go smoothly (which they never do) I hope to have to done by the end of September. I have added a link to the new site which currently is nothing more than a place holder but hopefully I'll have at least a little bit of something up in the next few days while the site is built. Ok, that is all the updates for now. Keep checking back to see the future progress.

I'm so going to do this

This has to be the best prank ever!